There came a day when I could no longer live by my conditioning, it was time to live in my own truth. Boy did that ever rock the peace boat! I was addicted to peace and I'd do anything to get it. Peace at the compromise of self began to suck and I became aware I couldn't do it to myself anymore.
Your body knows when you are reacting from your conditioning or acting from your truths. When your mind chooses to listen to your conditioning over your truths, it's never good for the body! So how do you know when this is happening? I'm so surprised that I didn't make myself sicker than I did because for years I did not live in my own truths. I denied it even from myself.
As a Consciousness Life Coach people often ask me "what is Consciousness"? Consciousness is to be aware. Consciousness Coaching is to help you become aware of how you act in the world inside and outside of yourself. You see, there are two of you communicating from within one physical body! By that I mean one of you is responding and one of you is reacting to things that happen outside of you. If and when you react, it is always coming from the wounds inside of you, always. This is where your responsibility as a detective in your own life lies.
Find out why you react, what your wounds are, where they came from, and how can I heal them?
Reaction happens because you have been wounded and hurt and at some point have denied yourself your own truth, you have compromised yourself. It's not about being right or wrong, it's about allowing yourself to truly feel and express openly your own feelings as they arise within you, without judgement from anyone else, including yourself. It's about honoring yourself. It's not about getting what you want, it's only about expressing what is really going on inside of you, expressing your own truths.
The wounds that are held inside of you are energy and this energy needs an exit door in order for you to move on and be healed and stop reacting. The only way to find the exit door is to have the courage to go back into that energy and feel it and give it permission to exit. This is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Let your heart flow and express what you are feeling openly, honestly, and without needing anyone else's approval.
We are so afraid to expose our true selves that we continue to keep ourselves hidden. That was me a few years back. I believed that if I was to truly speak my own truth that the consequences would be something I couldn't bear to think about. It wasn't true, but it was my story and until I started sharing "my story" I couldn't know it wasn't true. This is what frightened me. I was worried that I may not be able to control things once I let my truth speak and this is why I held it in for so long. This made me unhappy and sick.
However, if you respond instead of react, as I have learnt to do, then you know this is coming from your true self. To understand the difference you must learn to "feel" it. You can't identify this through the mind, this is where we go wrong. Truth is a powerful vibration, every emotion has a vibration that can and has been measured by scientists. As a person who reads energy, I can feel from you where you are vibrating from, this is how I know when you are in action or reaction. I teach you to use your truth as your tool so that you can become aware of yourself and know your own truths and why it even matters in our lives and especially in our relationships.
So why didn't I know this before for myself? I was living from my conditioned self not my true self and because I wasn't aware, I didn't even know there was something to be aware of. I never understood before, I just thought it was my personality, who I was, but it wasn't. I never needed to protect myself or anyone else, it was my conditioning that taught me to do this and it was so wrong. I became controlling and manipulative with this need for me to have peace in my life, all the while believing I was a good person and this was a good thing.
As we evolve as human beings, it is our job to become aware of who we are and how we act in life. It's actually the MOST important thing we will ever learn in our lives! I equate it to finding the "Holy Grail". That may seem like a very bold statement, but when you feel as free as I do, you may also agree. It feels like you have found a secret, the secret to life, the heaven on earth that is talked about so often.
It's called unconditional love for self. The magic is that once you have found this for yourself it is naturally there for others to feel from you also and that is incredibly healing. To feel this from another human being is like oscillating from the highest frequency and living in ecstacy.